By DAN BICKLEY
The Arizona Republic

Good morning. The Yankees are in first place. Or maybe that's last place. Or maybe they're in extra innings, so quick - check the television, just in case.

Hope you didn't miss Opening Day.

"It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," said Randy Hockfeld, a Cactus League tourist who lives in Las Vegas. "Opening Day is supposed to be the first pitch in Cincinnati. How dare they put it in another country?"

Early Tuesday morning, the Yankees played the Devil Rays in Japan to inaugurate the 2004 season, and they'll play again on Wednesday. To see these games, you had to have a yen for baseball.

In Arizona, you also needed a 2:59 a.m. wake-up call.

This pawning off of a great American tradition is beyond sacrilege. It's bad enough when this grand moment does not occur in Cincinnati, home of baseball's first professional team. It's bad enough when the first pitch comes at night or inside a dome or both, a hideous convergence that once took place in Seattle's Kingdome.

To ship off this annual rite of spring to another country is cause for congressional hearings. Not to sound like Toby Keith, but some things belong in America, and some things - such as Bobby Knight, the Trans Am and Opening Day - should not be exported.

"It's good for the game internationally, and that's where this sport is going," the Chicago Cubs' Todd Hollandsworth said. "But at the same time, the only ones watching this game are the people on Wall Street."

Baseball has done this before, you know. Over the past six years, it has opened seasons in Mexico and Puerto Rico.

This season marks the second Opening Day sold to Japan. This is clearly an affront to anyone who has spent the winter toiling over the hot stove.

In Arizona, the condition is even more acute. You can wander into a Cactus League stadium right now and soak in the exhibition season, now running concurrently with the real season. There is no clean break, no time to catch your breath and ponder the meaning of it all. Be very careful when checking the box scores.

There are 78 more spring training games to be played. Making matters even more absurd, both the Yankees and the Devils Rays will play two more practice games in Florida after their two-game series in Tokyo, a concession to potential jet lag and bouts with bad sushi.

"That's really bizarre, coming back to play more practice games," the Anaheim Angels' Tim Salmon said. "Until the rest of us start playing, it just doesn't feel like Opening Day."

It's a travesty, really. It's like the NFL starting its season on a Thursday night, but worse. This is supposed to be a highly symbolic moment on a sports fan's calendar. In 2004, it is a moment that few will see and no one will remember.

So, how did you celebrate the first pitch of the season?

Or did you sleep through it?

Bud Selig, the commissioner, should truly be ashamed. Before this year's annual Opening Day parade in Cincinnati, Major League Baseball will already have played Opening Day in a dome across the Pacific Ocean. The league will have thrown ESPN a bone, allowing the American opener to be played on a Sunday night in Baltimore.

Finally, on Monday, Major League Baseball will yield to what it calls "traditional" Opening Day, a day contest involving the Reds.

Alas, that's how it goes in baseball these days. They'll sell you the game's great traditions at every turn.

Unless they can find a better price.