Friday, March 29, 2002
Root, root, root for a lockout
The commissioner of baseball, apparently a man named Allan H. Selig, says team owners will not lock out their players this season. This is unfortunate.
A lockout would be a good deal for the Cincinnati Reds, who already have blown off the 2002 season anyway. The Reds are already locked out of the first division. When your biggest selling point is memories of a crumbling, cement-crypt stadium, you have issues. Have a great time at Lethargy Field. Beware falling hunks of stadium garage.
As for the pitching staff: When you come to the game, don't forget the swivel for your head.
What a fabulous season it's going to be here. Almost as good as in Montreal. Betcha they're giddy with anticipation in Pittsburgh. How 'bout those Devil Rays? To all the teams dead in the water by Memorial Day: NFL training camps open in less than four months.
Silly baseball, driving itself straight to the edge of another cliff. Baseball is Wile E. Coyote without the charm. Here comes the anvil.
Too much buffoonery
In the spring of 2002, baseball is Jeff Kent, who broke his wrist while washing his truck. Or maybe he broke it in a motorcycle mishap, after popping a wheelie.
Baseball is Ruben Rivera, stealing a teammate's glove. It's Derek Bell, a man who earned $4.5 million for collecting 27 hits last year, threatening Operation Shutdown if he has to compete for a job.
Baseball is Pokey Reese, tanking the last quarter of the 2001 season, then deciding Junior Griffey isn't a leader. Baseball is Bud Selig being called a liar by Congress. It's Selig, celebrating a fabulous World Series by announcing plans to kill two teams.
Only baseball could claim to lose record amounts of cash after earning record amounts of cash.
Baseball is Darryl Strawberry. Over and over.
It's Kevin Mitchell, managing. Right.
Baseball's owners propose a 50 percent tax on payrolls over $98 million. The players say no. If the players think the owners will lock them out after this season, they might stage a pre-emptive strike sometime this summer.
Blah and blah.
Same old strategy
William B. Gould was chairman of the National Labor Relations Board in 1994, when the NLRB intervened in the last work stoppage. The owners' strategy is deja vu all over again, Gould told the Washington Post.
Why? Because it worked so well last time?
Silly, stupid baseball.
If baseball owners had any guts, they'd cancel the season and do what they could to break the union. They'd sacrifice six months to remake a flawed system.
Barring that, the little teams should refuse to play the big teams. Until the Yankees agree to share equally their obscene local media revenues, the Royals should decline to play them. Because here's something about the rich teams: They're nothing without poor teams to play.
That won't happen. Ultimately, owners care about the game only to the extent it makes them richer. Ditto, players.
Silly baseball, tightening its own noose. Monday is Opening Day. It can't be helped.
E-mail: pdaugherty@enquirer.com. Past columns at Enquirer.com/columns/daugherty.
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